i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
