so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
