i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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