I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
