yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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