k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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