I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I pour the whiskey from now on
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
