i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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