I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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