There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize