Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
