i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
