I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
