like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I lost the right to judge tonight
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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