My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize