Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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