No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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