it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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