yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
They are going to name an STD after you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
