dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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