I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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