Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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