no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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