holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
