You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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