I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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