We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
