there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
