chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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