i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
