im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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