Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
