he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
