I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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