yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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