There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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