So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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