defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
