Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
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