so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
