You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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