In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
