Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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