Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
