Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
