I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
this hospital has no fireball
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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