why didn't you poke me back
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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