I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
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I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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