I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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