just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
