her vagine was all disorganized.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
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I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.