Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hippo gnu deer
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
