In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.