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• (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...

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• (772): View more from Florida

  She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (254): View more from Texas

  The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.

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• (424): View more from California

  My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  She's not answering my calls

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well it sounds like you really fucked up

  (480): View more from Arizona

  WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES

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