:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dating After Heartbreak
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive