You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.