By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins