Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex