No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
