i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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