Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Can you bring me the toilet please