i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.