Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
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Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.