So how was he last night?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...