wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
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I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today