You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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