Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
