what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
