And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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