They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
