Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
