...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
