im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize