How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
