drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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