Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
as a side note pls kill me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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