I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
