He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
