Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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