the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
